I'm quick to fall in love with people. Have always done this since I can remember falling in love. My therapist once told me that when I love someone and appreciate someone, and they show any little interest back, I immediately give them my heart. Of course this is very problematic, as most people don't want that or aren't ready for it.
I've also been really down on myself, even while school is going great. I'm too fat, I'm too ugly, I'm not smart enough, I'm not charming enough, I'm not entertaining enough, I'm not enough for ANYONE, let alone someone I could be in a relationship with. I've had underlying thoughts of suicide for months, and today I was pissed. Pissed because I have too many reasons to not kill myself, when it would be easier if I didn't. If it wasn't for my family right now, I would have probably picked up some medication from the store and done something horrible to myself.
So yeah, that's what I've been feeling and dealing with today, and probably will for the foreseeable future. I will go from being completely fine to an absolute mess multiple times, especially in the course of one day. This is why I'm going to a therapist, so I can find out what the hell is wrong with my line of thinking, and hopefully fix myself.
